Well I know I may seem like a total nerd with absolutely no social life for posting this blog up today, but I don't care. I am a nerd, and I am proud of it. Social life, I have but do not desire.
Well anyway, what happened was I was playing Hollow, like I do everyday for a good 17 hours or so. And I recieve a tell from this jerk like out of nowhere!
And they were all like "thanks for stealing my character name. I really appriecate it. you defacing my character blah blah blah." And I was like what in the nine hells is this person's problem?!
And he was all like you stole my name people are gonna think I came back to life. blah blah blah. And I was heated! I was like WTF? because I've played with the Name Ivellios before and there seemed to be no problem, and he/she claimed that they had been using that name for like seven years. Like I'm supposed to give a flying fuck. Hah! If his character Ivellios is dead why the fuck get mad at me?! he/she whatever the fuck they are had a whole new character and had the Nerve! To tell me to commit suicide. HAHAHA mother fucker.
That makes no sense whatsoever and it pisses me off. Assholes like that make me hate people as a whole. Why even get upset and confront someone like that.........
As I sit here, as sick as a dog. I ponder many things, thoughts, values, ideals, theories, studies, just about everything on God’s Green Earth is taking a lap around my poor lightheaded brain. When will these thoughts cease? When will I find relief? A thought that has forever lingered, was, why do people think the way they do? What is their motive? What is their resolve? To what avail? It’s been a while since I’ve taken a nice sit to organize my thoughts. In fact, I fear…too long. So many, words, thoughts, angry moments, sad depressing weeks, hurting feelings, crushed aspirations, broken shattered dreams, perpetual nightmares. All bottled up inside of me, yearning to be released from my weak, frail, and fragile body. Yet something deep down inside… wants to keep it locked away. This little demonic creature loves to see me suffer, it lives for the pain I experience from day to day. To what Avail I ask. To what avail? Why me, what have I done? Am I not good enough to be normal? Why must I always be the one to hurt? What are people’s motives for hurting others? Why do they treat others so harshly? Why broken hearts?
Why do some find sick pleasure in breaking down others that care for them most? Why do others label others, give them cruel names and titles? To what avail? Why are some kind to others, only when it benefits them, then tossing them to the side when the benefits are gone? Why can’t people just be kind to others expecting nothing in return? Why must everyone follow suit in this ‘dog eat dog’ world? Why must everyone and everything be so damn complicated? To What avail?
What do those hope to gain or accomplish by all of this? Why is there so much pain in the world? Why must we dwell on the things that are so far back in the past?Why are we all like this? Why can’t we just love one another? Why do people try so hard to fit in? What causes this insatiable yearning hunger to be accepted as part of a group? To be known as ‘one of them’ Why do people want to belong so bad. To be acknowledged as ‘one of the group’ even for a split second? To what avail?
Why are our teens today so quick to ‘fall in love’? Why does it seem that everyone needs a boyfriend/girlfriend to feel complete’? Why are people today so quick to claim themselves as Bisexual, but will never date anyone of the same sex?Why are teens so insistent on having sex? Why are they so intent on touching one another, and have only been together for a week? Why do teens ask to court each other, and then within the first five minutes, they are automatically boyfriend and girlfriend?Boyfriend and Boyfriend, or girlfriend and girlfriend? Yet they don’t even know a damned thing about each other? To what avail? What do they hope to gain by this?
Why don’t teens know the meaning of the phrase, “I love you” or “I hate you?” Teen use these phrases so loosely, yet don’t even know or can’t even imagine the biting of their words. Those are very strong words, yet people take them for granted. Those words are so powerful; they can even tantamount to a life or death matter. Why are our teens such liars? Why are our young children aiming to wreck their lives before it has even begun? Why are they so hell bent on finding ‘mates’ at such young ages? Why are out people marrying so damn early? Then getting divorces after six months to a year?
Why are people rushing into relationships and commitments they honest and truly know that they are not ready to take on full time? Why are values and standards of life dropping day by day as a people? People find sex a release, and just have intercourse with anyone they see on the street? Why are our teens having pre-marital sex? Just plain out and bluntly…Why are our teens to damn horny? Why is the number of drug use in teens climbing higher and higher by the second, seeing how and knowing how it destroys families? To what avail? Why are our parents today so damn abusive? Why the abrasiveness? I read blogs everyday it seems that contemplate suicide because of abusiveness and abrasiveness. Or just people’s cruelty in general. In reality, people today treat the animals that walk this earth better than they do each other on a day-to-day basis. To what avail? The animals are not the future of our world. We as a people are. And we are all sending it all to hell. Yet every generation blames one another. Do you know how foolish we all sound? To what avail? Why are we so damn judgmental? What is wrong with people? We need to wake up! And fast
-The very angry Veronica
As to why us as a people think the way we thing is a mystery that could only be best left unsolved. Why it would be inane to even attempt to solve it, yet even more preposterous to even ponder the thought in the first place. Yet, be seen as a coward for conforming and not wishing to step outside the boundaries. See the tangled wed I weave? It all leads to sheer madness and can almost be described as borderline insanity.
I wonder, as one stares at a group, wishing to belong for a fraction of a second, is it more of a hunger for acceptance? Or is it a desire to be labeled as a certain entity? For what reasons do people long for acceptance? What motivation do they have? What motive or motivation is needed for these actions to take full effect?
But on the other side, why do people find the need to judge, categorize, place and stereotype a person or a group of persons? To what avail? What is the purpose? What do they achieve by this? What does one truly feel that they have accomplished? I do not understand. I mean, what is the significance of it all? I cannot fathom as to why any of my thoughts and ramblings would make any sense to you… but in the event that it does, I commend thee for even reading up to this point. But can you see, or even begin to see where my thoughts dwell? Call me crazy if you wish, but still. Have you every really taken the time to even ponder these thoughts? I mean, it would seem perfectly logical would it not?
-The very thoughtful Veronica.
Hmmm. Well I obviously haven't posted or updated in a long time. Have I returned from the dead? Maybe. Or am I one of the legion of the undead? Even more so. Heh,
I've been a busy woman. School consumes my life. But with each and everyday that I spend my fifteen hours or so in school.....I realize how much of a waste Human Interactions are to me. They are simply a waste of my time, brain cells and energy to be totally honest and frank with you all. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to say that I'm some Einstein, and I'm better than everyone. I'm simply stating that it is a waste because Everywhere I turn, I'm in the middle of someone's personal problems Forced to mediate meaningless conflicts. I mean some of the stuff people fight over is so trivial, minute, rediculous! And half the time I'm not even able to help! I'm the least bit magical, yet the most well liked. I do not understand this....but okay.
People waste my time on a daily basis. They want me to just simply stop whatever I am working on, just so I can sit and listen to them blabber on about meaningless issues that don't even REMOTELY concern me. I'm not OPRAH! She may be my hero, but I'm not her. I don't have a couch that people can just seat themselves on and just spill their problems. NOT me, I am the wrong person. I DON'T give good advice at all. Just last year some girl told me she wanted to commit suicide. ME, being the jerk that I am simply laughed at her, and asked why she was still standing in front of me. Her response: "thanks alot. you're so great. I don't think I'll do it afterall." What the fuck? I simply ENCOURAGED not dicouraged. Things like that are not my problems, nor should they be.
It seems that everywhere I go, someone always has something to say to me, or about me, but they always seem too scared to tell me these things to my face. I tell them all the things I don't like about them to their FACE. I'll even write a list and read it to them. I just DON'T CARE. Yes I am quite aware that I am a jerk, but that is just how fed up I am with people. They always want to laugh and conversate with me, but never want to tell me the truth about things. They always want to be devious little imps and spread unhappiness wherever they go. Such spiteful creatures that seem hellbent on bringing others down to their levels of underacheivement. People and human interaction to me seems like a waste. I just don't understand.
Why waste my time and burden me with unecessary stress? Why are people just there to use others? I don't get it. I simply cannot fathom any of this. This all is tantamount to sheer insanity.
-The very peeved and frustrated Veronica.
